Erika Lydiawati

2012-01-21T23:55:00.000+08:00

Hi all.

Decided to blog tonight. So here it goes!

15th January 2012:

Met up with Shad after the photoshoot for Delythe. Had makan date! So we went to Pastamania since Shad wanted to get his Pasta. Have been eating Pastamania quite often! 2 times in 2 weeks. Ha ha. I have always loved watching him eat. Every time I see him enjoying his meal, it makes me happy. Okay you guys may think I'm crazy, but yeah, it makes me happy. Hope he doesn't feel awkward!

After the early dinner, we went off to my place. Had an impromptu plan with him and his friends. We went to karaoke at Boon Lay Shopping Centre! It has been quite some time since I last went out with him and his friends, so I just went ahead with the plan.

Everything was so last minute! We had to wait for more than 15 minutes for rooms to be vacant. We had to book 2 rooms since each room could only fit up to 7 people. Yes, there were more than 7 of us. Shad's army friends plus their girlfriends, not forgetting the single ones too.

But had a great night with them overall. I didn't stay for the whole of booked 2 hours cause I had to go home to help Sissy with her Art homework. So Shad sent me home. Poor boy. He was supposed to continue singing with them and have supper together but he chose to send me and go home straight cause he was too lazy to go back to the place. Ha ha.

Okay enough. Let's move on to the next day!

16th January 2012:

Been singing quite often this days. Ha ha. The next day, met my baby girl. We planned to sing together so we met up to Karaoke at Grand link. Cheap cheap.

But that day wasn't our day, I guess. The sound system in the room we've gotten was totally horrible and the remote control wasn't even in good condition. I spent half an hour trying to increase/decrease the music and mic volumes. So I went out to the counter and asked for another remote which works perfectly fine. Yeap, I got one but our time was wasted just because of the remote.

We recorded videos! I'm still trying to upload it to Youtube but it is just taking so much time!

After singing, we went down to eat early dinner. Had my Spicy Fried Rice again! I will always get it whenever I'm there! Delicious! My favorite! He he.

Had a very quick catching up with her before we went our separate ways. :(

Okay let's talk about today!

Today:

Met up with baby girl again with the other baby girls! Was supposed to join them for ice skating but I can't cause I was caught up with stuff. So I met them after they were done. We went to The Cathay to have our Starbucks. Chilled and talked crap with each other. They were so cute, cause they didn't know how to order Starbucks. Ha ha. Forever la this girls.

Didn't manage to take pictures with Jannah since she went to meet BF :/ This are the only few photos I have with me. The rest are with Syidah and Aisyah, yet to get it from them. I will upload them if i get the chance to!

As you can see, I had a wonderful week.

How was yours?

2012-01-16T23:00:00.002+08:00

Hi all. Okay I am going to blog. Feel like blogging. Even though I am so tired, I don't want to leave this blog dusty. Hehe.

Everything is fine now. My life is back on track. All is over now. My family is back to the happy family once again. Alhamdullilah. Only certain people will understand what I am talking about.

Anyway, on the 13th, was my Momma's birthday! I have nothing much to update yet. Cause some of the photos I have yet to transfer from camera. So I'm going to post this photos first. I'll update again on Wednesday on today and my date with love at Pastamania yesterday! Time to sign off. Goodnight everyone!

Happy birthday mom. You have always been the best, and will always be <3

2012-01-12T23:41:00.002+08:00

Hi all.

This post will be a short one. Just need some space to rant. Life, is stuck now. Kind of dead end, with no other ways to be out of the hole. Thinking of all the possibilities which can help to solve this situation. I will not elaborate it here, I will only share with those who know me, whom I can trust and who has always been there for me all the while. I won't share it here, cause I know some people will just want to butt in. Certain people whom I really despise, all the two faced humans.

Everything has been pretty hectic and shocking this days, really. I really don't know what I should do anymore. The guilt feeling, is really overwhelming. As if, I have not done my part and I'm a burden. There's nothing much I can do but just to hold on, and turn to Allah cause He is the only one who can calm me down and help me. No matter how hard I think, I can't do anything. I'm sad, I'm worried, about what is happening and what will happen next.

Sometimes life is unfair, yes. But not a reason to give up. Cause Allah would not give challenges which are unbearable to His followers. Everything has its solution.

Cause to Him I pray, for safety. To Him I pray for directions. To Him I pray for forgiveness and help. and to Him I pray for the strength to face this challenge.

"Semua kan ada hikmahnya."

2012-01-09T21:04:00.001+08:00

He is like no other. The one who will always be there for me whenever I need him. The one who will support me in whatever I do. The one who will never fail to motivate me and encourage me with his words. The one who will never give up on me, no matter how harsh I can be towards him sometimes. The one who is willing to sacrifice his time, his only rest time to meet me and make me feel needed and wanted. He is the only one who considers how I feel, and the only one who loves me, just the way I am.

Cause nothing can replace this love, nothing can stop this fairytale.

I love you, the wackiest yet the cutest love I ever had. ♥

2012-01-06T22:30:00.005+08:00

Second day of SP Open House 2012!

Hi y'all :B Today marked the second day of SP Open House 2012! Oh before I update on today, *look up*! Look at my new shoes! Like it?! Got it from Clementi mall. Value for money eh! Less than $35, good good. First time getting a footwear, like this, for a price lesser than $35. And the quality ain't that bad. Happy girl! Another shoe to add to my shoes collection :>

So, we set up Delythe's booth again today at the Open House. I was late for a few minutes, which means, some potential customers might already passed our empty booth :< Anyway, I had to carry all the stuffs alone k! A VERY HUGE BAG WITH THE CLOTHES RACK! AND WITH NO TROLLEY :< But it's okay, workout early in the morning. Ha ha.

The weather was really really REALLY hot today! I finished up 1 bottle of blackberry tea and 2 bottles of Chrysanthemum tea in just few hours. The scorching sun really drained all my energy and I was very very tired, and I'm very sure, I will not recover any soon :< But the crowd was great today, despite the weather. Alhamdullilah :> And the sales we got today were more than what we've expected. Hope tomorrow will be better and the sales will double up since it is on a Saturday and we will be expecting students with their parents to come :B

Delythe is selling this ring! *look up* I'm the owner of Delythe, and I'm the one eyeing on this too. HAHA so I bought one for myself. Nice right! I bought another snake ring for myself too :P If you guys like it, and will like to purchase, beep beep me! $10 only!

Alright, I'll end off this post with a few more pictures and words for the day. Wish me good luck for my business tomorrow!! :>

The Swatch baby bought for me <3

Blue Ning! HAHAHA

Words of the day: Obstacles come to instruct, not obstruct. -Brian Tracy

2012-01-05T23:51:00.005+08:00

Singapore Polytechnic Open House 2012

Hi y'all.

Today Delythe was at work! We will be involved in Singapore Poly's Open House from 5th January - 7th January 2012 near the Auditorium and SPCC! So Ning and I were on full gears and energy to sell our stuffs today! Managed to get a sum of sales. Alhamdullilah. :> Check out the photos below and see what we have done today!

This are basically what we are selling and will be selling till the 7th. It's our very first in stock collection from our website www.delythe.net and also our accessories on sale! Our fashion apparels are ranging from $25 - $28, plain tank tops for $5 each and our accessories, of course, $10 each! The accessories are quite hot, because of the edgy kind of style which each of them brings out :>

If you guys are free and there's nothing else you can do for the day or if there's no place which you would want to go, come down to SP's open house and see us!! :> Come and collect the Baggu goodie bag too! :> See y'all!

Oh I forgot to mention, took polaroid with Ning! Ain't it cute? Polaroid, $2/film from one of the booths. Check them out! :>

Words for the day:
The best things in life are not things - Art Buchwald

2012-01-03T23:04:00.006+08:00

Hi yall! :B Am back! Oh btw, have I told you I have a Tumblr too?! Follow me if you have one k?!

erikalydiawati.tumblr.com

That's my Visa card. He he. My pay cheque which I've banked in last week, the money will be transferred to my account tomorrow! I'm not sure how much I should spend and how much I should save. Help? But anyway, it's not even over $100. So, what I'm going to spend on with that money? Hardcover for sexy!!!! Look below!

photos in courtesy of moonstore, aliexpress.com

Still thinking, should I get the gold or the aluminum blue? Hmm. Still can't make up my mind. I'm fickle minded. Always. Sissy said, get the gold. Actually it is not really gold color, it's more to yellow perhaps. I like the blue cause it has a texture and it is aluminum like. Something different. Both cost in between $10 - 18. I should really make up my mind, or why not, I'll just get both? :P

And you know, I've been looking for a very nice/abstract/creative money box to motivate me to save. I've been searching worldwide(HA HA K) but none attracted my attention. So I went to Mini Toons to get a mini pouch/wallet instead. & I found this! *Look up* Why I chose it? It is polka dotted! Ha ha. & it is cheap, around $3.95? I don't mind spending the $4 as long as there is something which can motivate me to save, cause I badly need money and I won't have money if I don't continue saving :>

So plans for tomorrow? Have to be at SPeLL to finish up the Chinese New Year deco for the store. I have to travel from West all the way to Changi Airport, only to be there for half an hour. Rather stupid right? Oh wells. They have cars, I don't. But people, just don't understand and won't want to understand.

Okay la. Time to Tumblr! Goodnight! xoxo

2012-01-02T11:55:00.002+08:00

Hi y'all :B Just got home an hour ago. Had the best time with the ladies. :> Before telling you what I did today, let me share with you what Delythe did yesterday.

Jan 1 2012:
Delythe has received their shipment! This time round, Delythe is looking for a model which will suit the style of the products. So we hold an audition at Ning's house yesterday from 1130am to 630pm. Delythe found some favorites! It was something new for Ning and I. We really had fun knowing the models and looking at them trying their best to WOW us. We had our schoolmate Wei Da to be the temporary photography since he was very good at it. The rest of the photos, I'll post it here if I have the chance to.

After the audition, we went separate ways. Wei Da had to go home, Ning and I to dinner. Ning had her dinner with her family at some country club. I had mine at CAUSEWAY!!! Had hotplate fried rice. Soooooo nice. Then head home after that with my best man.

Okay let's continue.

Today met up with the ladies after quite some time. Met up with Ain, Nes, Syidah, Feek and her friend, Hazel(?). Before that, went to Northpoint with Sissy, Mom and Hairee to get their stuffs for school tomorrow.

Happy schooling loves!

Then after having early dinner with Sissy, went off with her to look for the remaining things she had yet to get : wallet and her Big Bang things (-_-). I spent like freaking half an hour in some comic shop to look for her pictures/postcards okay! There were tonnes of them in this long storage display. Sissy relaxed and was looking at the dolls when I was trying very hard to look for the Big Bang and T.O.P among the hundreds of photo cards. Tsk.

Met the ladies at 6. Then they had their dinner at Dad's shop. Then we went to chill at Chong Pang's Mac Donalds. They were craving for Mc Nuggets and Fries.

I took some pichas! *Look below* Ha ha, okay I'm done blogging! Goodnight! :B

Love y'all :B
Hazel isn't in any of the pictures. Camera shy. Ha ha.

Yeap, their fries.

Gosh I just love Syidah's wallet 'cause it is polka dotted! He he.

Words for the day:
You were born an original. Don't die a copy.
- John Mason

2011-12-31T19:09:00.005+08:00

Hi everyone! Sorry blog for neglecting you. Since I don have a diary now to write on, guess I have to stick with you blogger :>

A year have passed, how time flies. 2011 is ending. Today is the last day to embrace 2011. Time to reflect and lets hope to be a better person in the coming Dragon Year.

2011 has been a roller coaster ride for me. Fights, heart aches, disappointments, you name it. BUT I WILL NEVER FORGET! My new found friends, new found love, new found hobbies, new found places & of course the happiness 2011 has brought to every one in this world. Let us leave 2011 with a smile on our faces together with the memories we will always remember, & start 2012 with a new vision, a new mission, a new goal and as a new person.

Now it is time for me to share with you my memories in 2011. :>

New found love, new found baby girl, new found friend and of course, my dearest Ain :B

Dearest Bibik, my idol Cikgu Yazid, and new found colleagues from Bookshop!:B

Dearest Primary School mates, WINGS, & my dearest Grandma :B

2011-05-22T20:24:00.002+08:00

Say hi to bf!

Hi everyone. Well, I know I've not been updating regularly. Sorry though. I have been rather busy with life. School = Tons of assignments = Stress. Ha ha. So, you know I know la okay? Maybe i'll update more during the holidays?

Talking about holidays, it's coming up! 2 more weeks till the end of school. Will be expecting Law test this coming Thursday. Thank God it covers only chapter 1 & 2. If not, die! Ha ha. I have not been revising that much. So i'm kinda afraid on how i'll do for the paper. All the best to me man. And WAD! Oh my god. I seriously hate that module now. I've not been getting participation marks for quizzes. Because why? Because my lecturer didn't approve my efforts on the site. Because why? The host website is not cooperating with me :( It has already been what? 4 5 weeks? & it's still giving me problems. So participation marks, gone with the wind, just like that. I couldn't score. Tsk. Automatic, a grade down or 2? Yeah, serious. I think i'm gonna have a problem with this module :'(

So what am I gonna do during the upcoming holidays? WORK! Work with Irene and bookshop again! :) But without Joy this time. I bet it's gonna be very quiet without her. :( I miss you Joy! You are not replying me at Facebook. Hmm! Why you wanna be a dentist? :( You should stay here with me and take up other studies! Miss you alligator!

Okay. I don't wanna be emotional today. Be happy ya'll! Will come by soon. Muah!

xoxo

2011-04-22T19:18:00.004+08:00

New haircut!

Hey guys! How have ya'll been doing? Good? I'm doing good too. Teehee. Sorry for the lack of updates. Have been busy with so many things now. I shall share some of the things I've been doing now.

Oh before that. I CHOPPED OFF MY HAIR! SEE SEE UP THERE! HA HA HA HA k I look kinda funny though. But oh wells. I think it's okay la. Ha ha.

Kay first thing. You guys should know that i had my ITP (attachment) a few weeks ago. So, I was very busy for the whole of 6 weeks from Mar - Apr. I was involved in the retail line, instead of the office work kind of thing. So I was welcomed in the little BOOKSHOP!

damn nice right the place?

Yeap. That was the little BOOKSHOP. I was assigned as the Shop Assistant/Storyteller. Basically, most of the time, I worked with KIDS! & yes, all of them were cute kids! Met new people from all races/background etc. Most of the kids were Caucasians. I could not deny that sometimes I feel intimidated by them during storytelling. What if I don't speak fluent proper English? & before storytelling, i'll be worried about plenty of stuffs. Like the props, the storyline, how do I tell the story, how to engage them, interact with them & bla bla bla. But on the whole, I think I did a good job. At the same time, I've improved my English. Now it's way better than before. Plus point! :D

So, let's talk about the staff. There were 3 main people/staff who will always be there. Irene, the owner & also the shop manager, Irvin the asst. shop manager, & Joy the barista. So, I was rather very close with them to the point that I almost wanted to cry when I left. I had so much fun while working with them. I never felt neglected or felt foreign during my 6 weeks there. Even though the hours were long, from 1230pm - 9/1030pm, most of the time, I was looking forward to work. There were some other staff whom I've met too like Sabrina and Dewi. To sum it up, simple to say, I had fun & I love the place. & I miss every single one of them, especially Joy, the bes-test Barista I've known & my sweetest mate at work :) OH OH I ALMOST FORGOT! Irene makes the tastiest cupcakes and brownies ever! You guys should try someday. Do come down to the little Bookshop. It is located at the shop houses, near the Siglap Centre. If you guys wanna know more, just add them in Facebook. The little bookshop in Siglap.

Alright. I'll end here. Will update again soon la okay? Bye! :D

I miss you Alligator! MUAHS xoxo

Say hi to Ershad Rosli! aka Mr. Biggie

Wait waaaaaait, he's not my boyfriend. Ha ha.

He's just my sweet ass <3

2011-03-02T23:24:00.003+08:00

Hey all. It has been quite a while since I last updated my blog. Yes, a lot has happened. The good and the bad. But, I've managed to pass through all with a wide smile on my face, with a positive mindset to still go on.

Well, I do miss you big guy. What can I do, if we were never meant to be. What can I do, if we had to end it that way. It has been a while, and I hope you're doing just fine. I'm keeping my promise, & keeping my distance. The ride was worthwhile and thank you for the sweet memories. Now, we're back as Hi Bye friends, back to square one. It's okay. At least I do know, you were once here, making everything right. Now, imma move on, without your hands, without your voice, without your presence.

I've learnt to pick myself up. Being strong as always, for family, for myself. 2011 has started, with a bad start for all. But I'm sure things will get betta in time. March is already here, hoping it will be a betta month. Enduring, sacrificing. Positive thinking, positive attitude. It's time to forget everything that has happened, and fix myself. Put myself back together, glue the broken pieces. Life has always been tough. And it will always be. Without challenges, we will learn nothing, nothing that could make us as a betta person.

My 2nd year in school has ended. Having my 1 week break now, before the attachment. Yes, that short. Crazy right? I know. I'm restoring my energy during this break. I've hibernated for 2 days. Ha ha. I need it. The last few weeks of school were really hell for me. With a week not sleeping, sudden fever, sudden faints, sudden change, back, to the old me. But not to worry, I'm trying to get myself back on track, & try not to go back to the old Erika.

Imma continue to be a happy girl. Thank you to all who have been with me through the downfall and hardest times. A simple thank you will never be enough. Now, I'm back strong as ever. I will still have this smile, plastered on my face. :)

2010-12-04T22:59:00.004+08:00

Hi all. Sorry for not been updating. Been busy with school and upcoming tests. MST is next week. Wish me best of luck! Will be on hiatus for a period of time till I'm very free. Meanwhile. stay tune okay? :D

2010-10-27T18:33:00.002+08:00

You're so hot.
Your voice is so sexaaaaaaay.
You have always been my favourite
and will forever be. Hehe. ♥

Hey guys! Well, second week of school is almost over, tomorrow is already Thursday. God, see how fast time flies. Without realizing, my second year is gonna end, and have to prepare for ITP next year. Pfft. Well, I can really2 feel the pressure already even though it's only the second week. So many tutorials to do, so many topics to cover and revise. Hope I'm gonna ace my second semester and won't flop my GPA again like last semester. Anyway, good luck to my babes and hunks who're taking O's during this upcoming weeks. All the best! You guys can do itttt! ♥

Okay, I'm done. Oh! Have i told you that I've got the sweetest and sexiest thing on earth? ;)

2010-10-22T20:18:00.003+08:00

Hey everyone! Sorry for the lack of updates. You should know why. Once school starts, I'm gonna be as busy as the bees. ZZZZ. Ha ha! ^^,

Anyway, the first week of school has just ended. Fast right? I know. Nothing much happened in school, since it's just the first week. Just more of introduction on the different modules and getting ready for the pressure in weeks to come. Hmm, been revising after school 'cause, I think the trick to score or do well is to do lots of revision and practice more. And I should start revising everyday, straight after school and be a good girl. Must try to complete all the tutorials and no more dilly dally! Wish me luck for 2nd semester people. I can feel the stress already. All the modules are kinda heavy. I'm trying very hard to really pay attention in class and not get distracted. He he. :D

I have been missing love so much. It has been 9 days without him. He can't text me and make me laugh, he can't call me to put the smile on my face, he can't meet me to hug, kiss me on the forehead and make me feel loved. Hmm. 9 days. Amazingly, I've kept strong. 'Cause I love him that strong. And he should stay strong too in there. I'm worried. :/ I hope he's alright. I hope he's not sick or anything. I hope he misses me like how i miss him. ♥ My heart is really missing him so dearly. A few more days to go. Hope to hear from him real soon. Maybe this weekend. My heart feel like bursting. My everyday juice is not here with me, and i feel so weak. AHHHH! I'ma strong girl. I should keep on rocking \m/ Right?

2010-10-17T22:26:00.002+08:00

I really miss you. I really miss you very much. Only your messages that I've saved, could accompany me while you're gone. We're strong baby. We gonna rock the world together. I love you very much. Hope you're doing fine there. I'll be here waiting ♥

Tomorrow school gonna start. Wish me luck for second semester. I really need it. :>

2010-09-26T15:50:00.003+08:00

Hey! Well, went out for Hari Raya visits with the crazy bunch yesterday. Had so much fun! Full of laughter and more laughter. From the lyrics game to the crazy Korean game. We made so much noise at Mimi's house. If you happen to read this post, sorry hor dude. Ha ha. Won't forget yesterday mann. There were more pictures taken. Didn't realize the pictures took were over 100 in total. Ha ha. Uploaded in Facebook. So, just take a look hor ;)

I'm missing love very much. But what to do. Have to be strong for another 5 more freaking days. Ha ha. Oh well. I've done that before, so i should be able to do it again. Wo ai ni ♥

2010-09-21T15:10:00.006+08:00

Hi loves! Okay, I'll update today since someone kept pestering me to. He he. *wink* As some of you know, Cinta is in NS now. Which means, I've been lonely outside, and he's enduring inside. HA HA, k whatever. I've been doing well in keeping strong. HA HA *pats on my shoulders* & he has been doing well with the trainings and still surviving the camp. HA HA *pats on his shoulders* So, all the best to both of us! Mm well, something happened to Cinta today. I was shocked and worried, obviously. Luckily he was okay & thankfully, the doctor gave him 3 days MC. So, he should make full use of the 3 days and rest well, hor b! Be careful next time. I know you're assuring me that you'll be okay. But of course, I do worry. Standard. Ha ha! I know you're strong, so, do recover soon! Will pray for your speedy recovery! Ana B Hibak! You're amazing. ♥ Awesome \m/

Went to visit Fla at her crib yesterday night with brother. It has been 2 years since I last saw her. Yeah, that long! Oh, not forgetting Fatin & Nisya too. Miss them so much. Miss the times when we used to hang around and had fun. Now, Fla & Nisya are mothers and have given birth to beautiful daughters ;) I wanna carry her, but Hairul was there. You know, sometimes Hairul get mad if I were to carry someone's baby -_- I don't know why. Maybe he's jealous. Ha ha! Anyway, had fun catching up with Syidah and the rest. We will meet up soon again, someday ;) I've uploaded the rest of the photos at Facebook. Do check it out.

& finally, examinations over. I can really enjoy myself, for now. I'm kind of nervous for the results though. I have the feeling that I'm not getting the good grades. It has been a challenge for me in studies this start of Year 2. I've been struggling with the modules, 'cause what were taught just can't get into my head. Own revisions were not enough for me, so sometimes I consulted the lecturers. But it didn't work either. This were all shown by the results I've gotten for some tests. When it came to the week before examinations, I tried very hard to really catch up and tried to understand every single thing. But, everything need practice right? No use in memorizing steps, formulas or theory if we don't understand. Luckily, that particular week has been good to me. The revisions I did helped me in some ways. I was able to understand some points which I've missed during classes. And I was able to do the papers, even though I didn't really have the 100% confidence that I'll get the good grades. Oh well, everything have passed. Now, just hoping for the best. I know I've done my best. And Cinta was always there for me, thank you ♥ I'll try my best to not let anyone down hor.

2010-09-13T14:20:00.001+08:00

WISH ME LUCK FOR TODAY'S PAPER PEOPLE!! ;)

2010-09-10T03:12:00.002+08:00

I miss you. Thanks for the trust you had in me and making me yours. I will treasure you. I will cherish you. I will appreciate you. Just wanna let you know, I'm happy to have found you. The one who never fails to plaster a smile on my face, the one who won't get me bored, the one who has always something to say or joke to crack me up, the one who loves me for who I am. Thank you for the chances, thank you for the laughter, thank you for the joy, thank you for the light that shines my every day. We'll keep on going, we'll be strong. I can't wait for the fun that we'll definitely enjoy in time to come. Like I've said before, i don't know what the future has in store for us, but I'll be by your side while love lasts. Won't matter what people will say about us, about me can't be faithful when you're in camp and all, we have our own strengths and won't be shaken by anything. I love you for who you are and always will. We will stay strong, like a Pyramid.

Last but not least, Salam Lebaran to all Muslimins and Muslimats. Especially my family, indonesian family, friends, lovely girlfriends, best guyfriends, and my love. Maaf Zahir Dan Batin. Forgive me if i've been harsh, rude, and all. I love you guys so much. Alhamdullilah, another Ramadhan has passed, you guys are still with me. Let's celebrate our success for this few days. Allahu akhbar. Allahu akhbar. Allahu akhbar :')

2010-09-07T12:32:00.002+08:00

Sometimes it kept me thinking, was I wrong? Did i really steal him away? I didn't know that things will get this complicated. Why am I always stuck in this kind of situations? Never ending. I didn't mean to hurt you, but I do love him. How was I suppose to know that I'll be hurting you. 'Cause when I got to know him, you were no longer with him. So am I wrong to fall for him? I understand how you feel, but I'm sorry, I can't do anything about it. 'Cause like you, I'm selfish. But I've been closing one eye. I wasn't aware that I was the cause for his change. Sorry if I've made any parties unhappy. But I just can't figure out my mistake and how I made him change.

I will take care of him. I will treasure him. It's love, so, of course I'll do anything to keep him happy. I love him, he's my everything now. ;) Although I know we're not official and I can't stop him from seeing any girls, I still need assurance that he will remember me, as his love.

First exam paper tomorrow. Good luck to me and others ;)

No matter what, i still love you.

2010-08-18T00:01:00.004+08:00

I was the one who was there when you needed me. I was the one who sang to you your favorite song every night when you were down, or when you just cant sleep. I would starve myself, just to make sure you had your proper meals. I was the one who cleaned up all your wounds after your fights. I was the one who stood by you and accompanied you when you were hospitalized, when you took all those stuffs and lost yourself. I was the one who still supported you from the back even though you left me for someone new. I was the one who tried to always treat you right, to make sure that you feel loved. Even if i bled so hard when you laid your hands on me, i still hold on, never gave up and believed that you would change.

But you didn't appreciate all that. You pin pointed my flaws. You compared me to other girls and would turn to me and say "Asal you tak macam perempuan tu ah? You ni, tukar ah image you sikit". I accepted it, even though you said i was not worth it and sometimes you didn't acknowledge me as your gf. I have always stayed strong. I would always rush to you when you had problems and wanted me to be there for you. I was the one who would comfort you when you cried, when you had a tiff with your gf, or when you were on the verge of ending your life. I was the one who became your punching bag, something to release your anger on. I tolerated all that because i once promised i would give you my all and really make sure you get it all. I still stayed strong, didn't gave up even though you left me countless times, cause i know, you would still come back. Even how hard i tried, i still can't forget you. Everything i do, reminds me of you.

Maybe because i love you too much, you took me for granted. Maybe i comforted and cared for you too much, that you took advantage of me. I cried out my love for you, but you will always walk away from me. You took me for a fool. But i still love you.

You left me for years without even a single text, and now you came back, and asked for my return. Tell me, what should i do?

2010-08-17T23:51:00.001+08:00

Hey. Well, today started off as a bad day. But I've pulled through. Went out to Geylang with Maz, and cuci mata for baju kurung. Every year, same shops, same baju kurung patterns. None caught my eye yet, even though we've walked all over the place in circles. So i haven't decide which colour to choose, which baju kurung/kebaya i want. I don't even feel like celebrating Raya this year. I myself don't know why. I was really not in the mood just now, till i lost my appetite. But oh well, thanks Maz for the day. If it wasn't for him, i would be stoning at home, or maybe kill myself. Chey, kidding ah.

I just want to say, JIA YOU Maz. You will get her back, sooner or later. I know how you feel. I will be here for you if you need someone. (: Kalau ada jodoh, tak kemana la kan. When there's a will, there's always a way. Just that, don't feel so down. Like you say, ha ha, don't give up yet. (:

2010-07-26T20:17:00.003+08:00

HEY!

Sorry. I know I've not been updating my blog that frequent. He he. Busy ah. Trying my best to cope with studies, and also been busy with school dance and NDP.

NDP performances for the past weeks have been great! Had lots of fun with the other dancers (: Now, we're left with 2 more performances. The preview and the real NDP 2010. I'm always looking forward to Sat (: However, I'll be missing dancing sessions with SDZ 'cause of the performances. Oh well, hopefully i could catch up later on. There's so many things for me to catch up. I'm not done with report, and tomorrow there will be some checking on it. I'm not even close to 2/3 of it. Haiyo.

2010-07-13T22:16:00.003+08:00

Hey guys!

Sorry for the lack of updates. Been busy with school, catching up on studies, dance trainings, NDP rehearsals.

Let's start with my studies. Got my results back, & I've flung every single paper. I've done really badly, and I'm really disappointed in myself. I have to really buck up, starting from now onwards, or my GPA gonna drop like shit this semester. Serious f*ck, I'm really down & disappointed upon seeing the results. Then i started to emo for quite some time. HA HA. Serious man. I'm worried about my Statistics. I wasn't able to understand any single shit from lecture, with the SUPER cold temperature. I'm trying my best to do my own revision, with the help of the notes ONLY. The mentoring session every Wednesday, i couldn't attend. Gems and dance training. So, going to miss it. I know it might help me. But, oh well. Guess gonna try harder on my own.

NDP rehearsals have been great. No more rehearsals now. Last Saturday was the first NE Show & it was SUPERB. Had so much fun till the end (: Looking forward to this Sat's NE Show 2 (:

SDZ dance trainings also have been great! Had to miss some of the sessions 'cause of NDP but well, able to make up for it. Trainings with Ryan is always fun (: I'm like looking forward to every dance training. HA HA. He's a funny man. AND SUPER TALENTED. Go O school crew! (:

Ok, i guess i'm done here. TOODLES!

2010-07-01T20:47:00.003+08:00

Hey guys!

Had fun hanging out with Chu Hui & Shanice after school, before their dance training. Sally was supposed to meet me for dinner today, but it was canceled. Like yesterday. I miss her like FXCK, she don't know. Ha ha. Meeting her soon to collect back my calculator.

So while hanging out at foodcourt, me and Chu Hui took dozens & dozens of photos! Ha ha. Web cam, hand phone camera. Luckily we don't have digital cameras with us or better still, DSLR. Ha ha! Then Shanice was busy studying. I thought her course would be interesting & fun. But, on a second thought, I don't think so. Ha ha.

Actually ah, i have nothing much to say. But I sure do miss a lot of people. Especially my girlfriends. You guys know who you are. ^^ I miss Haiqal and Sally too ): Ha ha. OK i think should meet Sally now. Chiaos!

2010-06-30T23:37:00.003+08:00

Hey guys!

I will try my best to update more often, starting from today! Ha ha. I'm a happy girl now 'cause I've fully recovered and I'm back to school. Went to school for GEMS. Watched the Cast Away movie. It was good. It taught me a lesson. To NEVER take things for granted. Then had dance training after that. It went well, but was struggling during the stretching and warming up 'cause of the big bruise on my right knee. Hopefully it will heal soon. IT SHOULD. IT MUST! Ha ha. And and, I'm so going to watch Eclipse. Maybe next week? Well, shall find a time to pamper myself!

Ok back to work!

2010-06-29T21:14:00.002+08:00

Hey guys!

Sorry for the lack of updates. Been busy with school dance trainings and NDP rehearsals. The first performance for NDP for NE show 1 is coming up and i feel so nervous. 'Cause, the song kept changing, and we still haven't finalize our dance steps. The costumes are ready. Have not tried mine 'cause i was late for the previous rehearsal due to NSS dancers' performance at KKH. But overall, found new friends and I'm having a lot of fun during the rehearsals.

The KKH performance was a blast. My dear junior dancers did their best and I'm proud of them! Even though it was a last minute thing, we managed to pull it through with hard work and determination. 2 thumbs up!!

Yesterday was a very bad day for a start. It was the first day of school and i felt this strong and sharp pain in my stomach. And i kept going in and out of the toilet, vomited and you know, crapped. Ha ha. So wasted my first day and second day of school. Got 2 days MC. Food poisoning. What the hell. Told you guys before, my stomach is really sensitive. I don't like. I don't like.

Hmm, I've been coping well with the loss. Should give a pat on my back. Thanks to those who have been keeping me company and make me forget about the past. Especially to dearest Haiqal and Sally <3

2010-06-15T20:26:00.002+08:00

I cant wait for the match between Brazil & Korea.

Woohoo! :D

2010-06-08T23:11:00.002+08:00

Battlefield.

None of us thought that this will happen.
But, it just, happened.
You have been the best and will always be the best.
For now, I'll try to forget and start to move on.
<3

2010-05-25T23:01:00.003+08:00

Love the SDZ Camp. I miss it!

2010-05-12T19:24:00.005+08:00

Hey! Yo yo! Sorry for not updating. Well, you should know. Once school starts, I'll be a busy bee. Ha ha. Anyway, there are a lot of things in my mind right now. Like a lot. But I'm not going to type it here. Cos if i do, it won't end till the next morning. Ha ha kidding.

Anyway, school has been ok. Projects, assignments. Due dates are drawing nearer. So have to work very fast. Tests are also coming up. It's like what, almost one month since school started. Time flies very fast. Damn.

Today, i had to travel far to school, just to attend a 2hours lesson. Ha ha. Was suppose to have dance practice today but it was canceled due to some reasons. So training resumes on Saturday. Dance dance dance. I miss dancing with the Malay Dancers. Hopefully, my new dance friends will be nice to me. Made friends with most of them already (: (: (: Will be attending SDZ's dance camp from 21st to 23rd May. Am surely looking forward to it. I'm weird, cause i love camps. Don't you think I'm weird?

I have to shop for more clothes! I've ran out of clothes! I wanna buy crop shirts, high wasted skirts/pants, t shirts, jeans. Whoosh, i wanna work. But i can't. Have to really concentrate on my studies. Now, I'm already lacking behind. I don't know a single thing about economics, nor statistics. BUT those are the ones that carry a lot of weightage. I'm losing out. Must back up back up. Looking forward to study dates with darlings and also my babes :D :D You know who you guys are :D

Well, celebrated mum's day on Sunday. Haha. I think my mum was happy with the surprises. She's soooo cute :D :D Ok i should go now. Toodles!

2010-05-09T10:28:00.001+08:00

Went for SDZ's modern dance audition yesterday.
& i got in! So happy :D :D

2010-04-25T22:32:00.002+08:00

Hey :D Sorry no pictures for this post. Haha. I've ran out of pictures. The rest aren't that nice or interesting to see. Haha. I will post some if i have new ones. Anyway, it's the end of my weekends. Days pass too fast already. I don't feel like it's the weekends. In a blink of an eye, tomorrow is Monday, another day for school. Haha. School has been OK so far in the first week. First week, duh. So still slacking. And relaxing. And enjoying the short lessons while we could. I guess, second week is gonna be a bit tougher cause most of the classes will be starting in proper. Have i told you that i have a very fierce lecturer for my Economics tutorial. To me, she's quite scary. But it's good isn't it? I like fierce lecturers but approachable too at the same time. Helps me study better, understand the module better. Rather than having a lecturer that makes me fall behind. :D :D

Today spent the whole afternoon with Fiee. Ate Nasi Bryani. I wanted to eat the Murtabak. But it wasn't ready. Sad. Then bought some new nail enamels. I think I'm back to my old hobby. Collecting nail enamels of different colors. I like :D :D

2010-04-22T22:12:00.002+08:00

Hey! How are you? I'm fine thank you. Lol. Ok ok. Sorry for the lack of updates. Well, school has started which means i'm busy! School has been ok so far. But oh well, it's not even a week and i feel so tired already. I hate this sem's timetable. Especially on Friday. 8 - 5?! Haha. How am i gonna survive! Haha. But i'm happy. Get to see my classmates again although some chose EBT, we still meet during breaks. :D And my class had new students in! Didn't get the chance to know them well yet but i'll try. Ok la i have to go. I'll update some other time. DAA!

2010-04-11T19:36:00.003+08:00

Hey. Been sick since Friday. Pfft. Luckily fever came after the performance. If during the performance ah, die. Anyway here are the pictures taken during Northland's Speech Day 2010 on last Friday. An unforgettable night indeed. Well, we're agreeing with Cikgu Noor that we do feel 2 years younger :D Heh. Miss dancing on stage. Thanks to all the teachers and especially instructor for giving us the opportunity to perform again :D

The new principal.

Thanks for helping some of my friends

who've lost their $$ and phone.

Curse you stealer-s!

Thanks Fakhirah and Latifah for coming down to help us.

Sorry to trouble you guys by running up and down

to grab some tissue for me. Haha.

"My nose can't stop running" Lol.

Shafiq. He danced well. Great Job :D

Our love :D

The Alumni. I love :D

The dancers. I miss <3

Costumes!

Me (:

2010-04-04T13:29:00.005+08:00

Hey! Not going to do anything much today. Had dance practice yesterday and i could still feel the pain in the thighs, because of running up and down the staircase at the sides and front of the stage. Haha. Going to have another dance practice on Tuesday, hall again. I want air-con!

Can't wait for tomorrow. Going to watch KL Drift 2 with Fiee and his friends. Actually, i wanted to watch How To Train Your Dragon 3D and also Whip it, with some of the babes. However, the speech day thing came up so i guess, some other time. Hope i have enough money for tomorrow. HAHA. Talking about money, i want to go shopping! Shop for some clothes, accessories, sandals, slippers bla bla bla. I shall go for a shopping spree a week before school starts so that my clothes will still fit me once i start school. Hmm, you know, i've been gaining weight during the holidays. So if i buy clothes now, i might not be able to fit in them once school starts. HAHA, kekek. But it did happened last year ok. I've worn this 2 shirts for only one week then it can't fit me anymore. HAHA. I really have to lose some weight. But i'm lazy. I don't want to care about how i look anymore, can?

Pfft.

2010-04-01T16:32:00.002+08:00

Hey! Sorry for the lack of updates. Schedule has been hectic for the past few days. Had an unforgettable picnic with the babies last Monday at Botanics. Even though it rained so heavily till all of us were drenched and still wet when we got our ass back home, i enjoyed every single second of it. From the laughters to the updates to the mini gossips and critics. Haha. It was like, back to secondary school days.

Tuesday, went for dance practice. I was overjoyed, knowing that we, the seniors, were invited to dance with the dancers on Speech Day. But, again, it was a last minute thing. So, we were rushing. I'm getting old and my memory isn't that good. I kept forgetting the steps. Haha. But never mind, slowly, i'll get back in pace. Yesterday was already the rehearsal. It went slow, very slow. While waiting for the last run, took photos with the dear juniors back stage. I don't have the photos with me, yet. Once i have it, i'll post it here. Coming Saturday morning will be the next practice and i'm very sure we're going to rush and rush and rush. Which means, less break time, more practicing. Well, i'll be expecting more muscle pains man.

Today, not doing anything much. Stay at home Thursday for me. Same as tomorrow. Well, i'll entertain myself by watching videos then. Toodles!

2010-03-27T17:26:00.007+08:00

Hey! :D Sorry for not updating my blog. Been away to Indonesia from Monday till Friday. Before the trip, worked with uncle from Thursday till Sunday, 9am - 10pm.

Working with uncle at Expo was damn fun. There were loads of stuffs sold during the fair. Artists from Singapore and Malaysia came down to the fair to excite the crowd there. Some of my friends even had their own booths, selling their products. Friends from school and even from Batam. Glad that it was over though, cause it was very tiring. It really drained all my energy. Imagine standing from 930am - 930pm, shouting and shouting, trying to attract the crowd. But overall, it was a very enjoyable experience for me. For the 4 straight days, the food we sold were sold out. And i also made some friends from the other booths. Yeap, fun. I wanna help in more fairs!

Then the next day, on Monday, headed to Batam, Lengkang to visit grandma and for holiday. The 5days 4night stay was enjoyable. Did loads of things there. From fishing to disco night and more. But it ended fast. It only felt like a day there. But oh well, looking forward to the next trip there. Maybe a week before Raya. If i can tag along la.

Anyway, can't wait for this coming Monday! Picnic with the loved ones ^^ See you guys soon! Ok so now for some of the pictures took and a video during the trip. Enjoy!

My mum's younger sister with her husband.

She's my closest aunt who knows almost everything about me.

The funny thing is, the husband, Ndeng, used to be my close friend,

and now he's my uncle?

Haha. Yes, they are very young.

You can already guess their age (:

On the boat, back from the market at Pulau Belakang Padang.

Photo took when i was at my neighbour's balcony.

That's my house! The balcony.

This was when the sea was low tide.

That explains the sea without water.

Drought.

My skin became very dark because of the scorching sun.

Pfft.

The very short bridge we have to walk before reaching my house :D

The sun set taken when i was at the balcony of our house.

Video: On the boat while we were on the way back from Pulau Belakang Padang. Enjoy!

2010-03-17T17:41:00.012+08:00

Hey! :D Well, for the past 3 days, i was out and i guess i'm quite exhausted. Thursday till Sunday i won't be at home till night, again, cause i'll be helping boss and uncle with the company's sales at the Halal Fair at Expo. Please drop by if you're free and please buy something from us. Especially the durian lovers cause our company will be selling some food like ah durian puffs. Will be working from 10am - 10pm. Yes, 12 long freaking hours. Haha. Make sure they pay me good!

Monday, went out with sister to buy some clothes and my money wasn't enough. So sister had to treat me! Haha. That day, i bumped into a lot of friends. And i mean, a lot. Haha. Friends from primary school, secondary school and even SP. Haha.

Tuesday, went out for dance practice in the afternoon. I miss dancing, really. And they'll be dancing zapin, with tambourines! So jealous. They have to get ready for the Ngee Ann City show which is today. After the practice, met up with Fiee. Then headed to the gig at the Art House. Too bad, didn't get to watch Yasin's band's performance cause we arrived a bit late but it's ok. Got to watch other bands perform and one of them were performing Paramore songs! I like (: Then after it, we walked around City Hall then headed back home. Paid a visit to Izyan's house first to take the costumes and accessories. Since all of them will be having classes the next morning, i helped them by bringing the costumes and accessories for the show. AND THE BAG WAS DAMN HEAVY. Lucky Fiee was there. Haha. My macho man (: Reached home around 1145 pm. It has been long since i last went out till that late.

Today, went to help the dancers with their hair do and makeup. Had fun with them today even though i was freaking tired cause i slept late last night. Furthermore, i was out for the whole day yesterday. Too bad i can't tag along with them to the show. I have to go back. There's a video right at the bottom of this post. Video of the rehearsal. You can watch it if you want to :D You should watch it anyway!

Trip to Lengkang has not yet been confirmed. I don't know why. Let's see if the trip is not cancelled. If it is, i'm so gonna go for the next dance practice next Tuesday (:

Okay so now, the pictures! Sorry if they are off bad quality. I took it with 2 mega pixels camera phone. Sorry, the camera of my phone isn't that good (:

The band that performed Paramore songs!

The name of the band was 3 way miracles.

Something like that?

This was the first band that we watched :D

With Fiee around City Hall.

Syafiq.

Ellina.

Syakirah.

Izyan.

Suria. Sorry if your name is wrongly spelt.

Hehe.

Shamira.

My love. Haha, no la.

Dance instructor.

Cikgu Yazid!

The video. Enjoooy!

2010-03-13T13:41:00.002+08:00

Hey! Well, i'm bored. That's why i'm here. Anyway, sister will be gone for 2days for her basketball 2days1night camp. That means, i have to clean the room also during the weekends. Usually she will clean the room while i'll clean the rest of the house. Looks like i'm gonna do an extra work. Yea yea, shouldn't brag about it.

Can't wait for Tuesday for the dance practice, gig and the day out with Fiee ((: I'm a happy girl! Family is planning to go to Lengkang on 21st-24th. Can't wait^^ Hope they won't change the plans like how they used to. Since the hawker centre will be closed for a few days, why not go for a holiday trip to Indonesia right right right? And furthermore, i'm having my holidays now. So, time for me to enjoy! Haha. Sister and brother also have to skip school on those days. Hehe.

2010-03-12T09:02:00.004+08:00

Hey! Sorry for not updating. Well, i don't know what to update anyway Lol. Anyway, baby brother had been down with cough and flu for the past few days. So which means i can't come down to Northland today for Malay Dance. Sad. I wanna see their dance for the show on the 17th. Hmph

Anyway, my life has been boring as usual. I'm done reading the novel. I'm waiting for my sister to finish her novel so that we can exchange. Or maybe, i'll just buy another novel this weekend. In the meantime, i'll try to do some things which can get me out of my boredom. I paid a visit to NP's popular yesterday. Bought drawing pencils, color pencils and a sketch book. All my art stuffs, my sister used it and lose it. Pfft. So, i bought new ones. Art has always been entertaining me. It helps me release stress. Haha. I miss art classes with Mr Amin! :D

And Facebook is being a very naughty boy. -_- My facebook account was disabled, like what the hell?! If you guys realised, my account is not under your facebook friends lists anymore. I think? Cause i asked my sister to check yesterday if i'm still under her friends list, and no, i wasn't there. Yes, i'm very pissed off. I don't know why my account was disabled -__- They should have informed me beforehand that they're disabling my account! So i emailed facebook, asking what's going on. Pfft. I'll wait for their reply.

2010-03-07T21:02:00.007+08:00

Firstly, i would like to wish my younger (yet taller than me) sister, a very happy 13th birthday. You 13 right girl? Should be. Haha. Hope you've enjoyed the day with me and your brother. And, study hard! Make our parents proud!

Hey! So went to catch a movie with sis and brother. Caught the Alice in the Wonderland. Watched it at the nearest cinema. Well, the movie was ok 'cause i know what will happen next at some parts of the movie. I've watched the other version of Alice in the Wonderland when i was young but with a different story line. As usual, Johnny Depp was super cute! ^^ Ehem, anyway, enjoyed the movie though.

Then headed to Popular and bought some novels. Well, i've not paid my library fines yet and i'm very sure that Jodi Picoult's novels would always be on loan so in order not to waste my time, i bought one for me, Mercy. Read a few chapters already. Well, interesting. Sis bought one too since she's rich on her birthday. She bought Nineteen Minutes.

Paramore is in Singapore today! And i can't go for their tour 'cause my savings was not enough. And when it's enough, the standing tickets were sold out. Pfft. Please, come back again! I promise i'll come to see you! Hope 'Ak will enjoy her evening today (: Ok will get back to Rush Hour 3.

Toodles!

2010-03-04T13:55:00.002+08:00

Hey! Well, the 2 pictures above were taken during the night when we had our dinner at Seoul Garden. Yup, that's my classmates :D Some of the other classmates didn't tag along. We had a great time ^^ Gonna miss you guys!

2010-03-02T21:18:00.002+08:00

Hi! Ah, well. As you all know, yesterday was my last paper, which was Accounting. So which means, i can hooray2 right now! :D Haha, but that doesn't mean i'll be that free. Cause you know why? I have to stay at home and take care of my baby brother!

Paper ended quite late yesterday. Ah, at 6.10pm. The paper was damn tough can? I really had no confidence in scoring that paper. The balance sheet can't balance, again! Pfft. Why must it always happen? During past practices, exercises, tests, my balance sheets were all balanced. But not this exam paper. It should be the other way round! I was damn pissed off. I spent like 45 minutes, trying to figure out where i went wrong and tried tried tried to balance it. At last, i gave up. Spent the last 5 minutes to check the paper. Pfft.

After the paper, spent the whole night with classmates! Went to Takashimaya's Seoul Garden for dinner. Boy, i was damn full that night. I can't even continue with the dessert! I wanted to eat ice-cream for dessert but well, there was no place left in my stomach for it. Hmm, it's okay then. Now, i'm craving for Ben and Jerry's ice-cream! Hmm, will buy it at 7 eleven tomorrow. Yum Yum!! :D

Well, gonna miss my school. And my classmates. And sadly, some of us will be separated since we chose different sides. Me and most of my classmates chose e-business management side while the rest chose e-business technology. Hmm, it's ok. Let's have another outing soon! :D

I can't wait for the Gig on 16th March! :D It has been ah, months? Years? Since i last went to a gig. The very last gig which i went was with Hazirah to watch her brother's performance. 16th, my classmate and his band members will be performing. Hardcore! So gonna be there ^^ AND! Cher and 'Ak were suppose to meet me today. I wanted to bring them to dad's stall since 'Ak was craving for Satay and Cher wanted to try the Mee Soto. Sad that the plan was cancelled though. Oh well, there will always be another day (:

Ah, byebye! HUGS!

2010-03-02T15:10:00.000+08:00

Great cover. I like! ^^

2010-02-28T23:20:00.002+08:00

Ahh. Know what, i have not crap for 2 days already. Which is a bad sign. We must crap at least once a day. Oh no, and my stomach is damn painful can?! Pfft. Accounting later! Oh no! ): Will be back!!! :D

2010-02-25T00:08:00.003+08:00

Happy 13th to us (:

Yay! Marketing is down. Going to have database exam today. Yes, like marketing, i'm not prepared at all. So i'm going to study like mad again like yesterday till the wee hours. But, exam will be starting at 4pm instead of 9am so i have more time to sleep and revise. Okay should get back to my books and notes. Toodle! Wish me luck guys.

2010-02-24T02:54:00.001+08:00

Err, OMG? I'm still wide awake? Yes, it's 2.55am right now. And i'm still here, blogging and wasting my bloody time. I'm suppose to head for my beauty sleep before the exam in few hours time. But nooooo i have to stay up and study for this *toooooot* marketing exam. WTF? -_-

2010-02-21T18:21:00.001+08:00

Hey! Err, i got nothing to post actually. Sunday, boring sunday. Hahah! :D

Toodle!

2010-02-20T21:51:00.002+08:00

Hey! Haha, as you can see, even my younger brother has his own "laptop". He is always playful. While i'm doing my work with my laptop, he'll be next to me, helping me by pressing the keys on the keyboard and my document will be in a total mess with letters all over the place. So, mum bought him a new "laptop" to replace his old "laptop", which is now, dead already of course. Now, i can do my work in peace. Haha!

I have nothing much to blog. Just any other Saturdays, nothing new. Mm. So cheers! :D

2010-02-19T21:22:00.005+08:00

Eh dear, where are you at?! I MISS YOU LIKE #@$%^&* CAN?????!!!!!!!

Hey! Had Java paper and i was f*cking depressed after it was over! Haha no la. But i really felt like pulling my hair while doing the paper. Now, i'm just waiting for a miracle to happen. Hmm, 50% chance pass 50% chance fail!

Anyway, before i headed to school, went to study at Woodlands with Fiee. Why must most of my friends knew him before i did? Like what the hell? He was so popular uhh? Pfft. Then headed to school for the test. My mind was in a mess, i was shivering can? I don't know why, but it's like, what's happening to me?! Lol. 'Ak and Cher thought i was hyper because i got to meet Fiee before the paper. Haha, maybe that might be one of the reason why i was super hyper. The other reason was because i wanted to calm myself down. It seemed like hours waiting for the test to start although it was like only 10 minutes. Haha, yes i was early for the paper. 1/2hour early. When it comes to tests and exams, super early. When it comes to lessons, the opposite. I can sometimes be 1/2hour - 1hour late. Haha!!

AND I THINK I SCREWED JAVA PAPER. IT WAS REALLY PAIN IN THE ASS.

Imagine, a large frame fall onto your body. Like literally fall on you. The big frame in the room fell on my dad when he was sleeping in the afternoon. Scary can? The glass frame broke into pieces. They were all over my dad's body and loads of it were on his hair. He got some cuts all over. I pity my dad. Thank God it was not my younger brother who was sleeping because there is where he will sleep at night. Luckily my dad was not facing up when he was sleeping. If not, he'll be at the hospital right now because the pieces of glass might have entered his eyes. Scary.

2010-02-18T17:48:00.004+08:00

Hey! Guess what. I need money! I want to buy new clothes, new pants, new jeans, new shoes, new slippers, new wedges, new accessories, new hairstyle (err still thinking), new make up (not that necessary), new skirts, new whatever la. Could someone give me half of your savings? Hehe. I've been saving but i don't think it's enough yet to go for a shopping spree. Trip to Seoul Garden with classmates is next Monday, so i have to put aside some money. Hmm. Anyway, looks like the balance in my account has not been increasing. Haha, why? Cause I've been spending my savings on my hand-phone prepaid, sometimes my sis's prepaid when i was being a good sister. Hehe. My food, my drinks, my my my my my all. 'Ak "Money money lai lai, please fall from the sky!". Haha. :D

Went to school with 'Ak around 11am? Went to meet Rajan. He's a funny guy although he looked soooooo fierce. Anyway, he gave us some useful tips, clarified some stuffs, and yea. Will be meeting him again on Monday. And seriously, i think i have to get specs. HAHAHAHA. That was 'Ak's suggestion. Even Rajan thought so. Hehe. Maklumlah, Kaka dah tua. Ok no ok.

:D Toodle!

2010-02-17T22:22:00.003+08:00

Hey! :D Ur, can i ask you guys something? Can i die now? I'm so fucked up, stress, depress! This is what happens when you don't do enough revision before the final papers. Java is this Fri and I've not started studying it! OMG! Help me! Hope i'll do ok for the paper. No F please no F. Fail no!

K bye.

2010-02-16T14:36:00.002+08:00

Hey! Did nothing much during the "holidays". Just rot at home. Study sleep study sleep EAT! Anyway, i'm still deciding. Should i create twitter? I feel like i want to but i'm sooo lazy to create one. Hmmmm. Java's final test is in few days time & i'm so not ready. Allah, please help me. I have to score this time! ):

OK i think i should get back to studying. Ha ha. Toodle!

2010-02-14T17:43:00.002+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year to all my Chinese friends!

And happy Valentine's Day to all those who are celebrating it :D

Hey! Have been studying for the past few days. Erika is a good girl. Ha Ha. I've been struggling with Marketing and Database. I really need help. Luckily Rajan is free. We need your help! Will be meeting him on Thurs. Even though he's not my lecturer, i'm sure he can help me (: Actually i have nothing much to update. My life has been very boring. You should know cause I've been whining about my life since the start. Ha Ha. So, toodle!

2010-02-12T23:25:00.000+08:00

*The divas for today!*

Hey. Spent the whole morning from 840-12plus in school with the dancers. They don't have helpers. Seniors to the rescue! :D

2010-02-11T21:25:00.003+08:00

hey! :D did nothing much today. at last, all presentations are over. today was the last, crs. it went pretty well, i should say. i was less nervous and i'm happy! so now, have to start revising for the upcoming java test and the 3 exams. why must life be so tough and stressful? tell me?

i think i have less confidence in all of my modules. ok not all. but the remaining modules like java especially. i really can't get it. the basics are ok, but the advanced! really feel like pulling my hair off man! seriously. who's idea was it to have java programming huh huh huh?

i wonder how people can be sooooo fake in front of others, even with their own friends? have they ever heard of karma? i don't really believe in it but i know, you do bad, you should expect something bad happening to you too. anyway, god gave you the mouth to talk. yes, but not back stab someone whom you call a friend. use your mouth wisely. as the malay saying says "kerana mulut, badan binasa".

2010-02-10T19:41:00.004+08:00

Hey you guys! Did nothing much today. School ended early, around 10plus when it was supposed to end at 12? So spent around 1hour in Java class. But it was worth it cause I've learnt new stuffs for Java. I had the thought of ditching school today because i was super tired and my body was very weak. I can't even open my eyes! But, i did went to school at the end. I don't want to waste another lesson. Furthermore, it was the last so better come for it. So he went through the past year paper today. First few questions were DAMN EASY. But when it comes to the last question, i feel like killing myself. You know what i mean. Anyway, had lunch with 'Ak and Cherr before heading home. I will always have fun whenever when i'm with them :D My laughing gases! But, this made me even miss my girlfriends more! ):

Dad gave mum a golden necklace. How sweet can that be?!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D

K bye!

Before someone's tomorrow has been taken away, cherish those you love. Appreciate them today. - Michelle C. Ustaszeski

2010-02-09T17:30:00.006+08:00

My past?

I was a very rebellious girl. Very. I lost interest in studies when i was in primary school and my attitude worsen when i went in secondary school. I picked up fights, smoked, drank and whatever. I simply don't know what was i thinking at those moments but i just do it. No, i was not from a broken family. I have a wonderful, loving, caring family. Not so over possessive parents. But sometimes things just happened.

From drinking to smoking to fighting and all, i started to be more abusive. Maybe it's because of my poor control over my temper. Imagine me, kicking my younger sister and brother, pulling their hair, whacked their head with a broom, dustpan, mop, anything i can find. Splash water onto them. Push them towards the ground. And sometimes if i can control, i just gave them a smack on their faces. Yes, you must be saying "Are you kidding me?". Well it's true. I did that. Erika did that. Don't believe me ask my siblings.

And I've realized why my ex-es dumped me. It was not because they don't love me, it's simply because they were afraid of me. Imagine me, being a very horrible beast, abusing my own bf. Whacked him when we quarrel, pulled his hair when he irritated me, spat out vulgarities when he didn't do what i wanted him to do. And even spat on his face if he looked at other girls. Yes, it's ridiculous. Thank you.

I've lied to my parents all my life. It's true. Lie for the bad things not the good ones. Played truancy. Hang out at friend's place all the time. Reached home at night. Invited the kind of friends that you guys won't want to hang out with, to home. Scream at my mother. Don't want to listen to her advices and etc etc. It's too many to list down.

With my friends, i acted proudly, arrogantly. When i'm unhappy with someone, i'll just confront them and "kick their asses". If my girlfriends don't listen to me, i'll just pull their hair or just used harsh words to hurt them. Most were afraid of me. Most don't want me to get angry. I knew they hated me, i knew they pretended in front of me. That time, i don't give a damn about it. I felt i was superior. I felt that i have the right to do anything that i want.

Yes, i'm horrible. But that WAS me.

It's sad to say, i lose friends just because i open up my past to them. They think i'll do that to them too. Abusing them and all. Hurt their feelings. They were afraid of me. That was why i didn't want to reveal my past to my friends. Cause i'm afraid they'll leave me. Cause it happened most of the time. Some even PASS AROUND WHAT I TOLD THEM AND BACK STABBED ME. Some guys don't even want to date me. That was how horrible my life is. I tried to change and i tried and i tried. And i've made it this far. I have a loving bf now. (: And wonderful circle of friends.

Now, i've changed for the better. And thanks to ALLAH, i've succeeded in being someone better for my loved ones. And i'm glad the past is just a past. But sometimes it saddened me, when i think back of my past. How i've wasted 4 fucking years of my life, doing stupid things which were not really worthwhile. Thanks to everyone for giving me a chance to change for the better. Thanks to my counselors for being my listening ears. Thanks to my friends for supporting me. And thanks to my family for their unconditional love and thanks to ALLAH, for saving me (:

Ask me if you wanna know what I've wrote there. :D

Had Java interview just now. I think my group did quite bad. He seemed unhappy. We didn't manage to fulfill the basic requirements. Hm, i wonder how he'll grade us. I'm sad. ): But it's okay guys! We've done our best (:

2010-02-07T20:48:00.002+08:00

Hey! Hmm, let's see, what did i do today. Hmm, went out in the morning. Yes, morning! Haha. Caught a movie. I know, you must be wondering why the hell did i catch a movie in the morning. Haha. It's simply because Fiee has to work tonight and i have to reach home by 3pm to take care of my siblings. So, which movie did i watch? No, not The Spy Next Door. I'm sad i can't watch that, but it's ok. Fiee managed to cheer me up anyway. Haha! Next movie, Valentines Day! :D

And today will be the submission for Java assignment. Yes ah! Another one off my shoulders. Bye!

2010-02-05T20:58:00.003+08:00

Hey! I'm very very very happy. Want to know why? I'm almost done with java assignment! I mean, we. Haha. Got help from teacher and some of the geniuses in our class and we're done with CRS too but we have to wait till next week for the presentation. I wanted to get it done and over with, but what to do. The class drew lots and our group appeared to be the last group to present, but, it's okay. It means we were given more time to prepare and rehearse before the actual day :D Exams are coming very soon. I'm scared. Hmm. I wonder how i'll do later on. I'm afraid the papers will be tough. Especially marketing and database. This 2nd semester, i'm weak for almost all the modules. Really really. And yes i'm trying very hard right now to not give up. Obviously, i don't want to let my parents down again like how i did in the past! :D

SP blackboard doesn't seem to work. Under maintenance. But it was stated there, everything will be back by 8pm, but look at the time now! It's 9.03pm! I want to do my work! Guess i'll have to wait till 11? or just check in again tomorrow. Toodles readers!!

2010-02-01T22:14:00.004+08:00

:D :D : D

Hey! Hmm, nothing much happened today. Today was Fom's presentation. Alhamdullilah, everything went smoothly. Great! Fom is done. Those that are left now are Crs and Java. At least for Crs, we know what to do. For Java, i think i'm completely lost. I'm trying very hard but i still can't get it. The classes, the methods. It really gives me the "hardcore" headache. Haha. And for this past few weeks, i feel really exhausted. I'm like completely drained out. Late nights, rushing through deadlines and all. Sometimes i can't even feel my bones. Haha. I think i need a massage after all is over. Wait, when will it be over? Oh yea, March. March March March, freaking March. I don't think i can survive that long!

We're going to get back our accounting CA2 paper tomorrow. Heard from my classmates, this time we did quite bad. A number of failures for the whole cohort and only 16 out of the whole 50 students get an A. I think i have a very very very slim chance of getting an A, cause i know, i did quite bad for the paper. I was able to point out my careless mistakes, AT THE VERY FREAKING LAST MINUTE OF THE PAPER. Bloody hell!

I WANNA WATCH THIS! FIEE! *winkwink

HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY TO SYAFA'AT! ^.^

You're a big boy now, so do take good care of yourself

and last long with GF!

2010-01-31T21:49:00.005+08:00

Hey! You see my desktop? Oh My God! Very irritating. I'm so damn busy with the projects till i don't have time to organize my things. My research materials, slides, documents are all over the place. Some of my research materials are not even there -_- I have to find for it! And double oh my! Tomorrow is FOM deadline, presentation is tomorrow, and we're still struggling! It's ok. We can pull it off. Jia You! We can do it :D

I'll get back to my work. Cheers!

& my face is on a banner. A BANNER! SO EMBARRASSING CAN?

2010-01-30T21:22:00.002+08:00

Hey! How you guys doing? Haha. Anyway i'm bored right now. Even though i have tons of assignments and projects to do. OK it's exaggeration. But still. Second year is coming in like few months. I'm not sure if i can cope. Hopefully i can! Keep me in your prayers :D

Anyway, did nothing much today. Visited Syafiee's mum. Alhamdullilah, she's better. She should be discharged soon, when she's really really OK. Hope Syafiee is strong. He is, he must! Hehehehehehehe.

This coming Monday is Marketing's project presentation. I'm so not ready. And my part for the presentation, there're too much pages. I'm not sure how to cut it down further. I managed to squeeze 3 slides into 1. But still, there're 12 slides. i'm still figuring out how to squeezeeeeeeeeeeeee until 5-7 slides? Yea, sounds impossible. But nothing is impossible right? Will try to finish it up by tomorrow together with the 10page report so that i could email them to Cherr and 'Ak for finalising and printing ^.^ Urm, next week there'll be CRS presentation too and Sunday is the due date for Java's assignment. SCREW JAVA! SCREW IT! Just because of Java, i'm stress mess. Because of Java, i'm struggling like mad dog. OK not dog uh, make it cat.

-_-

CHEERS! (Rajan's favorite word for Goodbye after every lecture^^)

2010-01-29T22:57:00.000+08:00

HEY! Had a visit to the doctor today. Can you imagine, waiting for 2 whole hours just to meet the doctor?! I was lucky though. At least the clinic was just across the road from my dad's stall. At least i was able to spend some time with mum and dad. Met the doctor and his guess was that maybe an insect or some bacteria from surroundings had made contact with my skin and caused this bloody rashes. It's hard to know what exactly made contact with my skin because it might come from anywhere while i was walking. He advised me to be careful with my skin, avoid seafood except for fish :D & err, just take good care of my skin cause it's sensitive. Chey sensitive, ppfft. He gave me 2 types of pills, which are so damn tiny. 1 of it can cause drowsiness, even though i only have to take 1/2 of it. You see, tiny pills are also unpredictably strong. That's why i have to take it only at night before i go to sleep. The other pill, 3 times a day. And he gave me a cream too. Have to apply it 3 times a day. I'm lazy. Anyone kind enough to apply it for me? *winkwink

2010-01-28T19:11:00.001+08:00

MJ made the right choice of choosing her as his guitarist for This Is It :D

RIP MJ!

2010-01-25T23:56:00.003+08:00

Hey!

anyway, i have this problem. itchy skin. my skin is super super suuuuuper itchy. if it's allergy, i don't think so. cos im not alergic to anything? anyway, i've been eating the same food. hmm. if insects bites, cannot be. the itchiness has been going on for days. and i now have big big ugly scars on my legs, especially my thighs. i want to visit the doctor, but then i dont have the time. furthermore, i'm scared that it'll spread to other parts of my body. saaad. ):

2010-01-25T00:02:00.000+08:00

the 12th.

i like this feeling.

2010-01-24T00:38:00.003+08:00

LOVE LOVE LOVEEEEEEEEEE!

"we talked alot throughout the journey to woodlands. it's like a MAJOR-catching-up-that-guys-don't-prolly-understand kinda thing. she's the best listening ear you can ever find. i mean, she listens to my rants and my whines and like, never gets tired of it. that shows how much i love her. okay, the latter part sounds so lesbo-itic. who cares right? anyhoos, she made my day today despite the fact that i was feeling kinda sober this past few days. YOU KNOW I KNOW aight sistaaa? and yeah, thanks for the listening ear today. appreciate it MEGALOADS. I LOVE YOU GIRLFRIEND! :D"

you see you seee! how can i not love her? lol!

I LOVE YOU!

love love loveeeee

2010-01-23T18:53:00.006+08:00

day well spent with favourite girl. love love love!

I MISS HER ALR!

went out on a study date with my hottest favourite gf! had a super duper great day with her. updates, catching ups. laugh here and there. ohhh, i miss the old times. very happy sia kaka. hahaha! yala, it has been almost what, 1 year, since i last met her. miss her like hell uh. it started off me shouting her name and hug her. feel like hugging her the whole day. haha. kay sound so lesbo. but really la.i miss her. ok i miss her. she's there for me you know. we laugh together, sometimes cry together. what more can you ask? looking forward for more outings with gfs. lets go SHOPPING SPREEE~

(((((((:

2010-01-21T19:50:00.001+08:00

hope fiee's mum would be well soon. ):

can't wait for SAT! study date w fav girl!

ta ra rum pum ~

2010-01-16T23:27:00.003+08:00

Hey! caught this movie in Vasantham Central. yup, it's a Hindustan movie. HAHA. but it was a good movie though. watch it! hahahahaha! if you're interested la. (:

mmmmm (:

2010-01-14T22:21:00.008+08:00

Hey! whoaaa 2nd week of school is gonna end soon. comes the 3rd week then the 4th then the end of the first year in poly. fast right? right. everything must speed up. rush rush rush!

Thurs 21.01.2010
- CRS essay writing. i must quickly find the materials which will be useful during the writing.

Friday 22.01.2010
- GEMS, Human Diseases test on infectious diseases. yeaa, you've guessed it right. i've not studied anything for GEMS.
- Database part 2 submission. DIE!

Monday 25.01.2010
- FOM CA2 powerpoint presentation. POWER. 10 pages report! more POWER!

Friday 29.01.2010
- Accouting CA2 test.

Thursday 4.02.2010
- CRS group presentation.

Sunday 7.02.2010
- Java Assignment due.

SEE SEE! told yaaaaaaaa. yeah i know, i should stop complaining, but i just cant. cause i cant really cope anymore. but i have to right? Kaka will try her very best ok? ok. ((:

She don't know how much i've missed her. HAHAHAH! (:

Mum's 38th

2010-01-13T23:30:00.000+08:00

Mum's 38th.

I love you mum ♥

Birthday wishes!

2010-01-13T00:00:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM! YOU ARE THE BEST MUM! I LOVE YOU TILL MY LAST BREATH. REALLY, NO KIDDING. MUUUUAHS!

&&

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU SUZIE. LOVE YOU CUZZ! EVENTHOU I CAN'T TOLERATE YOUR CRAZINESS. HAHAA.

Some tattoos are sexy (;

2010-01-12T21:36:00.004+08:00

Hey! got back Java paper. was shock with the result? cause wasn't expecting that kind of result. hmm. im satisfied but i wanna try harder. but how? study laaa dumb. hope i'll maintain the momentum & dont slack half way. oh, bumped into Cikgu Yazid (former dance instructor) & Faezin. OMG! I MISS THEM ALOT! I MISS DANCING TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! gosh. i need time, need time for my passion. but i just dont haaaaave the time!! urgh, so irritating.

anyway, anyone wanna share their views about tattoos or piercings? or maybe share with me some things about tattoos? no no, im not gonna get a tattoo. rather have a "tattoo" on my art book. haaha. i have to do some research on it for one of my modules, critical reasoning skills, crs. Tattoos & piercings : body art or self mutilation? hmmmm. someone help? cause i dont know what more to research.

errr, i think i should continue with my marketing proj research. Seoul Garden!

&&&

HAPPY ADVANCED BIRTHDAY TO MY CUTEST MUM!
HAPPY ADVANCED BIRTHDAY TO SUZIE CUZZ!

Stressful

2010-01-11T21:02:00.003+08:00

Hey! tell me, how to get good grades if i myself am a lazzyyyyy bum bum to revise? tell me! haha. database, im starting to get the hang of the module. but slowly. eventhou i know how to do the exercises' questions during lessons, that doesn't mean I'll do well in my exam/test you know. i can just go blank & forget everything? it happens to me before & its damn scary. so lesson learnt. don't study last minute! haha. really laa. so I'm really trying my best to buck up. especially Java & Database. JAVA! hope cher will give back our test & tell us our grades. im sure i didnt do well for the paper because of that bloody last question. & that bloody last question, is similar to the question of one of my exercises & i was a bloody idiot to give that question a miss during revision since it looks complicated & lose out in the end. cher even give hints (if you consider it a hint) by saying "THIS TYPE OF QUESTION WILL SURELY COME OUT. SO PLEASE LISTEN". erika = idiot. hahaha! alamaaaaaaaak erika! haha. i really regretted it. really ):

marketing CA2 is due in like, 2 weeks? 25th Jan deadline. & i think im S L O W cause im not even near to half of what im suppose to research on. God please help me!! & i just found out something. i dont know a looooooooot of things for marketing. a lot i tell you. Ms Lily expected us to know the principles at the tip of our fingers? but i don't know, like, a single thing? cause i don't really revise for that module? cause i don't really understand it & its like soooo complicated? so, I'll start LATER while doing the research. HAHAHA. oh wait, just remembered, lecture notes with Cherryl -_- oh yea, 'Ak! help me scan ok? i owe you. hahahaa. cause you've wasted a lot of papers for me, since the start of school. hahahahaahahaa! sorry dorry.

eh i talk a lot already. should stop now. bye! (:

Laaappy!

2010-01-10T13:44:00.004+08:00

Hey! im soo happy. you know why? lappy is back! i miss you lappy! lol. yeah, its back. now i wont face any difficulties uploading/downloading school files from blackboard. woohoo! oh yeah, Java lessons wont be tough for me anymore, cause i dont have to write all the codes on papers anymore. oh yeah oh yeah. haha. really, i had a hard time when lappy was gone. i cant upload project guidelines for GEMS cause desktop was a b****. oops. i cant upload FOM lecture notes also. i cant blog properly. now lappy is back, everything becomes easier for me. HAHA.

tomorrow, monday. i will like to wish good luck to all my friends who are getting back their o level results tomorrow. i know you guys have done your best. sooooooo, good luck again! hahahaa. sorry if i cant come down. i have lessons till 6pm. sad right? saaad. no life. pfft.

gotten back my results for the past tests before holidays. im quite satisfied w the results for accounting & database eventhou i dont know a damn thing about database. HAHAH! getting a B for the module that you dont understand, is not that baaaaad. haha. dont worry, i will try harder? grade for accounting is also not expected. haha. Alhamdullilah la eh. school has been very hectic. eventhou ONLY a week of school has passed, i can feel the stress & my body is aching all over, too tired. & ive not yet recovered from my sickness -__- since the week before school hols till now. rabak siaaaaaa. most of the people in the mrt will look at me one kind when i cough -_- its not like i have H1N1 or SARS! haiyoo.

anyway i wanna say something here to end this post.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HAJAR! (:

Happy 2010~

2010-01-01T18:22:00.002+08:00

HEY! first of all, i will like to wish everyone a happy prosperous new year. welcome 2010! resolutions? i dont have any but i hope that this year will be a better year. let bygones be bygones and start everything afresh. previous year was really a roller coaster ride for me. the never ending struggles, shocking moments, happiness, sadness, stress, problems, etc.

second, i will like to apologise for the lack of updates. just came back from Indo (: really had fun, but too bad, was only able to enjoy it for 4days, 3nights. mum and dad had to rush back & work. looking forward for the next trip there. pictures? didnt really took that much cause was busy having fun. HAHA!

third, school is starting in like what.. 3 days time? OMG! look how time flies. but oh no! i havent get back my laptop. how how? and GEMS proj! havent even start on anything yet. rabak. but i miss school thou, & am looking forward to next class outing!!

fourth, without realising, 1st year in school is almost over. 2nd year is getting nearer. i dont know if i can cope with all the STRESSFUL modules later on, but i'll try. i have to right? geeeeez. soooo not ready for next year.

hmm, i think im done here. will post some other day. toodles!

2009-12-25T18:36:00.000+08:00

The 11th ((:

2009-12-21T17:28:00.003+08:00

Dad!

My most closest 16year old indonesian aunt(Grandpa's daughter) HAH.

My mum. SO CUTE! Lol.

HEY! this were some of the pictures taken yesterday. didnt get to take more pics and the bride & groom pictures cause i was busy w lil bro. sorry cuzz! haha. hope your marriage will last & give birth to thousands of kids! haha.(:

BBQ!

2009-12-19T18:21:00.005+08:00

1A21 BBQ (:

HEY!

sorry for not blogging for a very long time. my laptop is under repair now. saaaaaaaaaaad. 3-4weeks. like wth?! but free, thank God la. oh oh, my cuzz is getting married tomorrow. cant wait. & yea, seems like im not gonna update as often as i used to. luckily theres desktop at home. if not, die. cant do proj -_-

ok bye!

Beautiful.

2009-12-08T17:39:00.005+08:00

Beautiful.
Lately I've been hard to reach
I've been too long on my own
Everybody has a private world
Where they can be alone
Are you calling me, are you trying to get through
Are you reaching out for me, and I'm reaching out for you

I'm just so fu-ckin' depressed
I just cant seem to get out this slump
If I could just get over this hump
But I need something to pull me out this dump
I took my bruises, took my lumps
Fell down and I got right back up
But I need that spark to get psyched back up
And the right thing for me to pick that mic back up
I don't know how I pry away
And I ended up in this position I'm in
I starting to feel distant again
So I decided just to beat this pain
Up and tried to make an attempt to vent
But I just can't admit
Or come to grips, with the fact that
I may be done with rap
I need a new outlet
I know some shits so hard to swallow
But I just can't sit back and wallow
In my own sorrow
But I know one fact
I'll be one tough act to follow
One tough act to follow
(Copy)
One tough act to follow
Here today, gone tomorrow
But you have to walk a thousand miles

Chorus
Wear my shoes, just to see
What it's like, to be me
I'll be you, let's trade shoes
Just to see what it'd be like to
Feel your pain, you feel mine
Go inside each other minds
Just to see what we find
Looking shit through each other eyes

But don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful OoOo
They can all get fu-cked. Just stay true to you sOoOoo
Don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful OoOo
They can all get fu-cked. Just stay true to you

I think I'm starting to lose my sense of humor
Everything is so tense and gloom
I almost feel like I gotta check the temperature in the room
Just as soon as I walk in
It's like all eyes on me
So I try to avoid any eye contact
Cause if I do that then it opens a door to conversation
Like I want that...
I'm not looking for extra attention
I just want to be just like you
Blend in with the rest of the room
Maybe just point me to the closest restroom
I don't need no fu-cking man servin'
Tryin to follow me around, and wipe my ass
Laugh at every single joke I crack
And half of them ain't even funny like that
Haa! Marshall, you're so funny man, you should be a comedian, god damn
Unfortunately I am, but I just hide behind the tears of a clown
So why don't you all sit down
Listen to the tale I'm about to tell
Hell, we don't have to trade our shoes
And you don't have to walk no thousand miles

Chorus
Wear my shoes, just to see
What it's like, to be me
I'll be you, let's trade shoes
Just to see what it'd be like to
Feel your pain, you feel mine
Go inside each other minds
Just to see what we find
Looking shit through each other eyes

But don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful OoOo
They can all get fu-cked. Just stay true to you sOoOoo
Don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful OoOo
They can all get fu-cked. Just stay true to you sOoOoo

Nobody asked for life to deal us
With these bullshit hands with doubt
We have to take these cards ourselves
And flip them, don't expect no help
Now I could have either just
Sat on my ass and pissed and moaned
But take this situation in which I'm placed in
And get up and get my own
I was never the type of kid
To wait but I know to unpack his bags
Never sat on the porch and hoped and prayed
For a dad to show up who never did
I just wanted to fit in
Every single place
Every school I went
I dreamed of being that cool kid
Even if it meant acting stupid
Aunt Edna always told me
Keep making that face till it gets stuck like that
Meanwhile I'm just standing there
Holding my tongue up trying to talk like this
Till I stuck my tongue on the frozen stop sign poll at 8 years old
I learned my lesson and cause I wasn't tryin to impress my friends no more
But I already told you my whole life story
Not just based on my description
Cause where you see it from where you're sitting
Is probably 110% different
I guess we would have to walk a mile
In each other shoes, at least
What size you where?
I wear tens
Let's see if you can fit your feet

Chorus
Wear my shoes, just to see
What it's like, to be me
I'll be you, let's trade shoes
Just to see what it'd be like to
Feel your pain, you feel mine
Go inside each other minds
Just to see what we find
Looking shit through each other eyes

But don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful OoOo
They can all get fu-cked. Just stay true to you sOoOoo
Don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful OoOo
They can all get fu-cked. Just stay true to you sOoOoo

Lately I've been hard to reach
I've been too long on my own
Everybody has a private world
Where they can be alone... sOoOoo
Are you calling me, are you trying to get through OoOo
Are you reaching out for me, and I'm reaching out for you sOoOoo Oo Oo

Yea... To my babies. Stay strong. Daddy will be soon
And to the rest of the world, god gave you the shoes
That fit you, so put em on and wear em
And be yourself man, be proud of who you are
Even if it sounds corny,
Don't ever let no one tell you, you ain't beautiful

awww, i feel you Marshall Mathers(Eminem)! haha. ((:

WBB

2009-12-05T22:02:00.001+08:00

HEY! will be back after tests! (:

outta here

2009-11-29T18:00:00.004+08:00

i really need this. where are my stressballs?!

HEY! tomorrow is gonna be FOM presentation and submission of DBMS project. and power, we have not even started DBMS. cause we were too busy with FOM. and believe me, i just remembered about DBMS project just now, afternoon. yes, JUST remembered. and tomorrow, submission. so tell me, what should i do now? aiyaaaaa, so stressed out. that's why i need stress balls! mama help me!!!! ):

FOM almost done. Hope everything will go on well tomorrow. left with the report, a few more touch ups and tadaaaa, its ready to be printed out. so tomorrow, after lecture, we're gonna have one last meeting and rehearsal. im sooo scared. i dont really like presentations. and i dont really like projects that have to do with marketing and some sort like that. cause it will really drive me crazy i tell you. so many things to do, so little time. like i've always said. you know, a lot or research have to be done. and sometimes, you just dont know what you're looking for and you'll be stuck and go blank for a moment. yea yea, internet has everything, anything that you want to look for. but its too many and you just cant figure out which one is more relevant and sometimes you werent be so sure if thats what you are looking for. okay i talk crap already. IGNORE! (:

ok la. byebye.

((:

2009-11-28T21:39:00.003+08:00

HEY! didnt attend school on Thurs. you guys know why so i think i dont have to say why i ditched school. anw, woke up very early in the morning and get ready to go to sis's school. you see, im more excited than my sis. i dont know why. anyway, when we arrived, a load of parents were already there. i guess, i was the youngest "parent" there. ahhaha. kay diam. anw, we all waited for half an hour before the release of results. and the sad thing was, there was no seats for the parents. whoooooa. so yeah, we all had to stand up. so bla bla bla. the highest PSLE score was 280 in that school. not bad not bad. so i stood, waited. walkabout, jump jump. kay no. so jeng jeng jeng, my sis's turn. and Alhamdullilah, her results were ok, satisfying and yea, express. but still, she didnt beat my score. HAAHAHA. anw, since she wanted to eat kfc so we went to northpoint to grab a meal. gave some of her friends a treat too. so her first choice? christ church secondary school but its not confirmed. and register options through online? whoa, dah maju. bagus -_-

so hari raya haji? nothing much. just entertained guests and all. one by one. whoa. was so damn tired yesterday. "words cant describe how i felt". hahahaah. anyway had fun though. oh oh, now im stuck again with UNO game. HAHAHA.

ok la. byebye

PHONE!

2009-11-24T19:03:00.003+08:00

Hey! whoa have you guys heard/read/watched about the recent news? 2 ferries sank when they were otw to Dumai. can you believe it? i guess our plan to visit our relatives might be cancelled. cause why? mum, dad & the others freaked out. even me. maybe now is not the right time to go there? usually, the weather is not like this. for the past years decembers, we dont really have much of a problem. eventhough it was raining season, waves were not that high. but whoa, 6m now???? better change our plans. instead of going to Dumai, maybe we'll just visit aunt & my grandmother at Lengkang(an island situated near Batam). so holiday will be cut shorter. from 2 weeks to 3-4days. pfft. i was just about to enjoy and relax my mind. & this thing happened. usually if the weather is this bad, we will take the aeroplane to Padang. BUT because of the recent earthquake and the very very very bad weather, there were no flights, and maybe they will resume flying to Padang around next month or next year? okay, tak payah sudah.

school is reaaaallyyyyyyy. *smack my face*. no words can describe mann. im really afraid that i'll screw up for the upcoming mid sem test next next week. fast right? i know. and FOM project is due next mon? and we are like, way behind time. no progress so far. i know, cause all of us are very very very busy. and im really tired to continue from where ive stopped. its a good thing that we clarified some things with Ms Lily yesterday. if not, we might do things that we werent suppose to do, you know extra2 stuff that werent suppose to be researched on. i have got no hope for DBMS and FOM. really, frankly speaking, i think im gonna screw up this two modules. Shit shit shit, eat my crap.

mum, dad and baby brother is gonna take a trip to Lengkang tomorrow morning. leaving me, sis and grandma at home. younger bro will be having his sleep over at cousin's house. and mam dad gonna return this fri, a day after hari raya haji. which means im gonna miss my baby bro. which means i have to go home straight after school tomorrow. which means i cant send my phone for service. which means i have to ditch school on thurs, which is already planned beforehand. whoa. im sure gonna miss out a load.

so stupid of me mann. how can i be so careless and spill water on my phone. yea yea, it looks ok now, still working fine. but when my phone goes "bad mood" mode, the screen will just blank on me -_- its not even 3 months since i last bought it and now its partially damaged. wth erika? you are so careless mann.

kay la bye.

down down down

2009-11-17T23:18:00.006+08:00

Hey! yah i know, my face must give one tight slap. hahah. anw, today Tues. very long day. verrrrrry. today Java class, learnt something new. but i dont know how to really do it. sad. very disappointed. hahahaah. no laaa. should practice more though. oh thurs there's going to be Database quiz. & guess what, i have not caught any balls for Database Management. yes, you should say, BAIK AH ERIKA. haha. no no, erika will TRY to catch balls before the test. HAHAH. catch balls, sounds soooo, okaaaaaaaay.

anw, marketing CA1 part 2 is due on week 7, next 2 weeks on monday. & tomorrow, we are so going to chiong until we die on the spot. hahaha. really sia, i almost screamed when i found out that we dont really have much time to finish up. 1week plus only lei. whoa. anw, i was thinking, should i dress up for the presentation? i want to, but laaaaazyyyyy. and yea, at last can go out with Ak after almost 1 year knowing her. hahaha. baik peeee. no time la, kan Ak? hahah.

now i think its kind of a down period for some of my friends. you know who you guys are. just a few moments ago, got a text from my childhood friend updating her life. we'll update about each other's life like every week? and the main topic will be.... relationships lor. hahaha. so she was updating about hers cause i have nothing to talk about mine. so she shared with me how this few months have been a very rocky ride between her and partner. & she asked me this particular question which surprisingly most people will ask me "why is yours is like almost perfect?" or "how i wish im in your shoes" or "i wish im like you" or "how i wish mine is like yours".

almost perfect? no no no. i've told some of my friends before that no r/s can be almost perfect. if almost perfect, that means there is something wrong somewhere. it wont be perfect. every r/s, got lots of ups and downs. its just how me manage/solve them. how we understand our partner, give a thought about out partner, make compromises, give and take, let bygones be bygones, talk about your r/s regularly, dont ever stop to get to know your partner, dont assume you know everything about them. mine is not close to perfect. we have arguments, we sometimes do have major ones, but the diff is that it wont last that long, cause maybe both of us do understand one another and we try to give and take or compromise.

its not that im being proud or what but i just wanna clear it out that mine is not close to perfect. i dont want my friends to have that thinking. i want my friends to never give up and keep on trying. doesnt mean you failed in that particular r/s, you will fail all the way. dont think that you cant survive w/o your ex partner. you CAN, you WILL, you SHOULD, as long as you WANT.

i think thats all. hahaha, yeah. (:

fasssst

2009-11-15T21:35:00.002+08:00

Hey! whoa, it has been a long time since ive updated this blog. *wipe off the dust* well well well, where should i start?

school has been stressful, as usual. & time do fly very fast. without realizing, im only 3 weeks away from the mid-semester test. & claps for me cause ive not started with thorough revision yet. ish ish. what not, im always tired (more to lazy) & when im back home from school, ill doze off like a pig. haha! no la. i still finish up whatever i have to do like assignments, and bla bla bla then head to bed. & tap tip tup, my first year in DBIT will be over. then tap tip tup, im done with poly, tap tip tup, get married. hahaha. kay whatever.

on the 26th, family is going to Batam to visit grandma and celebrate hari raya haji. & i have to ditch school cause i have to accompany sis to her school to collect her PSLE result & accompany her at home. saaaaad. i wanna follooooooooooow, but the other half of me said LAZY LAZY LAZY! haha. lazy to pack up. nevermind, i'm going sumatera next month to visit my mom's aunt. i'll be away for 2 weeks. whoa. long huh? sad that we cant go to padang anymore. if not, we'll be there near the beach, having a picnic. and phew, our village was not affected by the recent earthquake.

10months is coming. whoa, faaaaaaaaast (:

Whoa

2009-11-04T10:38:00.000+08:00

I miss them a lot. It has been months, right? ):

Hello.

2009-11-03T20:40:00.002+08:00

Hey! For the very first time today, i could do Java questions all by myself. Haha. Eventhough i had to assure the answers and steps with Ak, i think i'm quite proud of myself. Lol. First time you know. Of course i very2 happy. Like its a big thing. Haha. Today was not the quiz day. Tomorrow. Got extra time to revise again. Yesssaaaah!

Must finish up slides for FOM tomorrow. I've not even started yet. Haven't even start with the research yet. Erika! You're so sloooow. Slack some more la. Haha. I bet my other group members have started with the research already. So have to really cut the slack and start tonight and continue tomorrow after school. Gonna sit in school till evening and finish up what i have to finish up. Revision, project and whatever whatever. I really have to improve my grades in order to achieve my ideal GPA. Erika, if you wanna slack slack slack, you gonna die i tell you.

Yesterday celebrated dad's day. Kissed dad, smelled ciggs, phoooo. Headache for a second. Lol! Kidding. Didn't snap any pictures, cause dad was embarrased becauseeeeeeeeeeeee he was sexy yesterday. Lol! Some of you will know what i mean. Haha. So yeah sorry yo. Lol. Happy belated birthday to you dad! Kay, this is like the billionth time. Haha, k crap.

Ok la get back to work Erika. Tata(:

Twice.

2009-11-02T20:41:00.003+08:00

Hey! Dad's Big Day was yesterday. Didn't celebrate it. Didn't wish dad either. Lol. How bad can i be? Lol. No la, today will be celebrating his day instead. Cause i bought the cake just now. Yesterday, no time, so no cake, no celebration, no fun, no wish also. Lol!

The very first project is already up. Have to be done before next Monday. Presentation will be next Monday. So many research to do, so little time maaaaaan. Now, my group is left with 4 people. Ak, Yasin, Cherryl and me. Hope that our group will cooperate with each other and do well for this semester. So FOM will be the first one. Gonna start on the research soon. MUST! Cause it's a very hard topic to begin with. So start now then.

Tomorrow for Java, we might be having a mini quiz. WTH? I don't really understand what was being thought for the past lessons and there's gonna be a quiz held? Hahahaha. Sian. Lol. BTW.......... pictures for today will be posted tomorrow maybe? So yea, just keep on coming. Lol. Tata! (:

CHAKDE! lol.

2009-10-31T18:13:00.002+08:00

Hey! Looks like raining season is here. Yahoo! That means, no more sweaty nights and no more bathing 3-4times. Lol. So yeah, today spent my day at home. As usual. Supposingly, there was a thought of going out today. But since he has to go back to his camp at Jalan Bahar to help out with some stuffs, & he has to work at night later since he can't take a day off, then its ok. Will give it a miss. Wanted to catch MJ's movie with sis today but i gave it a miss too. I'm still tired and no cash. I'll have atleast $20 by tomorrow so it's better to go tomorrow right? Right.

Currently, watching CHAKDE! India. Yup, hindustan movie. My all time favourite for your info. Haha. Reminds me of my netball days. Long hours of tough tranings, team spirit, team members, friends. Whoa, miss it. Hahahaa. If only i continued playing netball, but naaaaaah. Haha.

Tomorrow is daddy's big day. Cancelled the Zoo trip. I don't know why, but it's ok. I didn't buy anything for dad or make anything for him. Actually, i don't know what he likes. Ciggs of cause. But enough, bought for him one before. Not this time. He really has to cut down. He is getting sicker and sicker. Not because he is getting older and older. It's because he's increasing the amount of ciggs he smoke every month. Dad IS stubborn. After so many advices, he still don't wanna listen. Check ups, he hates it. Tell me, how to advise this man? Grrr.

Ehh ok. I'm tired. Bye.

WOAHHHAHAHAHAhA

2009-10-28T20:13:00.002+08:00

Hey! Whoa, i think i need vitamins. Haha. Didn't attend school today since I have a slight fever & I'm too tired. My eyes were shut the whole day! What I mean is, I've been sleeping like a pig the whole day. First time sia like this. Why uh? I do have enough rest what. I guess? Haha. But at least I've made an effort to sleep early. Amazingly, I slept early than usual yesterday but I still have no energy to start the day.

Or is it I'm tooooo fat? I've gained tons of weight for the past few months. I myself do not know the reason behind the weight gained. Maybe because I've stopped running & i ate too much than what I'm supposed to. I can't be too fat because i will feel very tired & lazy. I can't be too thin because mum will shout at me. -_- Haha. Now I'm trying to find a way to lose the fats and be back to my old ideal weight. Hahaha.

School is killing me. Long hours, tough modules. Especially Java. Pity Ak. Haha. I have to ask her on how to answer the practical questions. Can say all of the questions, I needed her help. Haha. I'm going to try and try and try but sometimes I feel like no use man. Fundamental of Marketing, I can't understand a single thing during the lecture. So there's an extra task for me when i reach home. Mind maps=revision notes.

Anyway, dad's BIG DAY is coming soon. We're going to celebrate it at the Zoo! Lol. It has been years since i last stepped there. I wanna go Underwater World. Maybe soon. I don't know how soon, but soon. Haha. Let's start saving!!! I want thousands of $$$$$$$.

Okay, gonna continue study. Toodles. (:

2009-10-25T01:04:00.000+08:00

Happy 9 months to us (:

Ok.

2009-10-23T16:00:00.002+08:00

Hey! School has started. Went pretty well i guess? New modules, new topics, new stress. Lol.

DBMS. Database Management system. Ok so far. Primary key, candidate key blablabla. Lol. But SQL installation is being such a bitch. The installation of the software wasn't that successful. I tried and tried and tried. I think i've installed and un-installed it for dozen times. Lol. Wasted my 1 and a half hour -_-

CRS. Critical Reasoning Skills. Guess what, i'm back to where i studied English in sec 3. Argumentative essays. Pfft. Oh oh, talking about this, i am not done with the article homework. Yes, first lesson got homework. HAH.

JPRG. Java programming. I think i'm going to screw this module like how i did for WCD. I can't cope with Javascript, so how can i cope for this module? Ish. But i think i can do better this time with the help of the lecturer. He said he will pay good attention to me. (:

Accounts. Back to basics baby.

FOM. Fundamental of marketing. I think this module is going to be more complicated than i thought. First day of lecture, caught no balls. ): But atleast i won't fall asleep during the lectures. I guess, the lecturer do know how to capture my attention and make me stay awake. HHA.

GEMS. Human diseases, rocks! Haha. Anyway, it was first lesson today. And i had to mail the summary of the lesson to the lecturer by 3. Done that. How unlucky can i be? First day of lesson, chosen to do the summary. I'm among the unluckiest 5. Lol. Had fun during the lesson anyway. (:

Ok la. I think i wanna go back to yishun now. Bye.

Good luck (:

2009-10-21T22:52:00.002+08:00

I wanna wish lucks to my dudes and hunks who will be taking Os soon. LUCKS MANN! (:

Schh (:

2009-10-18T16:38:00.000+08:00

Hey!

Guess whaaaaat. School starts tmrw!!! (:

if only.

2009-10-17T17:24:00.003+08:00

Hey! Woaaaah, my net drive went crazy yesterday. I can't connect to the internet. Thank God it works today or i'm sooooooooo gonna destroy the device. Haha.

Deepavali. Kavita invited me to her house for Deepavali. I could go and wanted to go but when i was reaching and texted her, she said that she's still at her grandma house and she hoped that i could come later around 330? But i can't. Mum has to go out and i have to take care of my baby bro and grandma. So, changed plan. Didn't go to her house. Maybe some other time?

Today. Went out with sis in the morning. Went to hunt for clothes. Didn't bought much since i need money for other expenses. So yeah. Bought a dress for sis and bought a skirt and shirt for myself. With some of the extra $$, i bought myself sandals and a bag. Haha. Bought honey chicken pau and spring O from OCK for myself and curry puff for sis.

Now. Doing nothing much? I don't know what to do today. Also, having a mood swing. So yeah, hmms. Maybe because i'm too tired or there are too many questions in my head which are still yet to be answered. I don't know? I'm just confusing myself. And i think you guys are confused by me right now, wondering what i'm babbling about? Hahaha. It's ok. You don't have to know what i'm babbling about. Lol.

Ok i go off first? Bye.